Ah, another week, another woman roasted over an inappropriate comment. The torches are still lit.
This week’s guest of honour in the Colosseum of Public Opinion is none other than fashion designer Karen Millen. Speaking on Channel 5 talk show, Vanessa, hosted by Vanessa Feltz, the designer was asked about her opinion on whether it’s OK to breastfeed a three-year-old child. ‘There’s no benefit, is there, for a child to be breastfed beyond six months really,’ she responded. ‘I think it’s quite a selfish thing on the mother’s part.’
When asked to explain what she meant, she said: ‘I just think that’s not good emotionally for that child. I mean, what does that child do later in life? The attachment, like you say it becomes an addiction and an addiction for that child too because they only know the boob.
Watch the Karen Millen Breastfeeding Debate here.
Cue the collective gasp.
Now, let’s break it down. Was it a clumsy, uninformed opinion? Yes. Did she spout misinformation regarding there being no benefits to breastfeeding after 6 months? Hell Yes! Should she have maybe… not said it? Also YES!. But come on. Have we really reached a point where one bad take equals public execution? Because that’s what followed. Instagram, TikTok, and the Daily Mail comments section (God help us) turned into the Hunger Games.
Let’s acknowledge the obvious: Karen was wrong. She misunderstood a deeply personal and sensitive topic and framed it in the worst way possible. She triggered mums who’ve fought tooth and nail to breastfeed, those who’ve done it for years, and those who wish they could have. It hit a nerve and so it should.
I breast fed briefly and what I’m about to share will shock you…I hated it! Looking back, perhaps I didn’t have the correct latch, maybe I needed more support (it was lacking if I’m honest) and maybe the right help would have made it a beautiful experience. In reality I felt none of that. I felt shame, I felt judged and at times, I felt like walking out and not coming back. My husband was certainly in the ‘the baby needs breast so that’s what you’ll do regardless’ camp. One kind nurse told me that my health and the baby’s was all that mattered and showed me how to use a breast pump. For 6 months I was either bottle feeding or chugging on my boobs with an electric pump that made a noise that replicated the sound of a mooing cow, I kid you not. I did this for as long as I mentally could.
But the topic of breast or bottle is not what I want to talk about. What I want to address is the cancel cuture, the fact that we feel toxic comments and hate are perfectly justifiable if we are on the side of ‘good’.
And here’s the critical bit, she apologised.
“The question was aimed at a three‑year‑old being breastfed, and my thoughts on that, not the subject of breastfeeding. And as a woman to woman, I do respect your choices and I do want to support you.”
She expressed regret for any offence caused, emphasising that her comments were judged out of context and were never meant to belittle mothers.
So, what’s the problem?
Well, apparently, saying sorry isn’t enough anymore. Because we’ve decided that making a mistake publicly means you must now be punished… publicly. At length. Forever. There is no expiration date on outrage, no grace period for growth, and definitely no room for nuance.
Here’s where it gets uncomfortable: a lot of the backlash wasn’t from the usual trolls or keyboard warriors. It came from women. From mums. From influencers with bios like “empowering women daily” and “girls girl” and “feminist af 💅.” The same women who tell us to honour our cycles and light moon candles for our inner child are now writing paragraphs calling Karen Millen everything but her name. Because she dared to say something they didn’t agree with.
Don’t dare to question them
I had a run-in with one particularly passionate commenter who declared, “If you don’t have a medical qualification, you shouldn’t say anything.” Bold stance, except she was sharing her opinion on a post by a self-proclaimed “Voice for Women, Broadcaster & DJ.” No medical degree in sight, but because she was publicly criticising Karen Millen, that apparently made it totally acceptable. When I pointed out that many people, through experience or research, can be just as informed (if not more) than some doctors, who we often place on a divine pedestal as if they’re infallible. That didn’t go down too well. Because I wasn’t swinging my pitchfork, I suddenly became fair game. I was told to “take a nap” and that my response was “fighting talk.” Ah yes, the age-old feminist tradition of supporting women… unless they dare have a different opinion.
The real kicker in this whole saga? The toxic avalanche of comments from women across social media platforms — Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, and of course, Reddit (the dark basement of unsolicited opinions). Scrolling through the replies was like watching a pack of wolves tear into a Zara bag during a Boxing Day sale. It wasn’t just disagreement, it was venom. Women who preach empowerment were saying “She’s as relevant as her clothing line” “she’s disgusting,” and calling her “unfit to speak.” Others gleefully suggested she be “cancelled for good”.
When did women start hating other women?
The irony? These were largely women, the ones shouting about mental health, kindness, and supporting other mums, now sharpening their digital pitchforks because a woman dared to speak from ignorance rather than experience. It’s performative feminism at its finest: all solidarity, until someone says something you don’t like. The hypocrisy hits like a poorly latched nursing bra.
This is over a soundbite on a daytime TV show, not, say, dismantling healthcare or banning formula or going to war.
The same people preaching about how damaging shame is for breastfeeding mothers were gleefully piling on the shame for… you guessed it, another mother.
What happened to “supporting women even when we disagree”? What happened to “educate, don’t humiliate”? Oh right, that only applies when you’re the one saying something unpopular.
Let’s be real: not every woman is going to understand every part of motherhood. Not everyone has breastfed, bottle-fed, combination-fed, or pumped until they lost the will to live. And when someone says something ignorant, it’s okay to correct them. Educate them. Invite them to grow. Expect an apology. But crucifying them? That’s not feminism. That’s just mob mentality in a dress.
And let’s not forget: we’re all one bad comment away from being the main character in someone else’s outrage reel. If Karen Millen can be taken down for an ignorant opinion (again: ignorant, not evil), who’s next?
If you claim to be about women supporting women, that includes women who mess up. Not just the shiny ones who say all the right things. You don’t get to pick and choose whose womanhood is valid based on how Instagrammable their opinions are.
And let’s not forget the actual point of all of this: fed is best. Whether it’s a boob, a bottle, or a sippy cup full of oat milk and quiet desperation, just feed the baby. Full stop. What works for one mum won’t work for another. There is no universal rulebook, no gold medal for breastfeeding until your kid’s in reception. If your baby’s thriving and you’re not losing your mind, you’re doing it right.
So yes, Karen Millen said something stupid, but she also showed humility, which is more than can be said for the keyboard feminists frothing in the comments.
Here’s a wild idea: next time someone messes up, how about we try compassion? Because if we keep treating every disagreement like a declaration of war, we’re going to run out of allies really fast.
And honestly, don’t we have bigger things to worry about than policing each other’s nipples?
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